http://www.naijapals.com/modules/naijapals/nigeria/topic,91338.0.html

THE RING… does it really mean a thing?

What is the worth of the RING? Can the price of the RING in the market be compared with the price of the RING in our hearts?

Victor and Nneka walked that beautiful aisle together seven yrs ago and happily said “I DO” without interruptions, was it a mistake to take that oath? Well according to Victor it was a mistake not known to both of them and for Nneka it was a huge mistake because she was busy accessing his pocket forgetting her happiness. their marriage took a wrong turn on the 14^th February 2010.

Victor had a meeting to attend at Kenya and had left the country two days before Valentine’s Day, with so much love in the air he promised to call her everyday and to keep her company on Val’s day. Those calls never came, Victor was carried away with whatever was keeping him busy in Kenya and lost track. “Well who am I to judge him, he claims his boss was with him and he could hardly make a step without him being on his neck but he pushed me to the goddamn wall, in fact he has being pushing me to the wall for over six months now. Can u believe my husband hadn’t had sex with me for six months now?

It was the 14^th February and my birthday, it was suppose to be my happiest day but it turned out to be the beginning of the end of a suppose to be lovely marriage as our friends addressed our marriage, my so called husband left the country promising to keep in touch but I didn’t hear from him and it is over three days now. Like I have always heard of his numerous affairs and pretended it was all lies, it all started ringing a bell, I have not had sex with my husband in six months because he is having an "AFFAIR", I most have gone wrong along the line, maybe am not that attractive anymore after all, maybe …enough with the maybes, your marriage is a failure girl and stop pretending it is glowing. Nneka Obiechena* it is time for u to get your groove back”, so she got up dresses to kill and left the house, she went to the mall, first to shop and make her self happy and sexy on her husband’s account, then watch a movie.

After shopping I decided to watch a movie all by myself, I went all the way to the back of the cinema hall sat in the dark all alone, didn’t know whether to scream, cry or laugh, but definitely it was ringing down my head there was trouble along by the corner. Then comes this hunky guy heading towards me, I didn’t bother to look up, he asked if he could join me on the role I nodded and he made himself comfortable 2 seats before me. As soon as he sat down a call came through …“Jenny I begged you to stop calling, we need a break please, it is not a break up ok, I just need some space. why do you want to know where i am? I have done everything for this to work but you keep pushing it, we cant have the wedding now like u said and  it's fine by me, you asked for an abortion after you took in and I allowed you do that to show you how much I love you and wanted us to be in this thing together but each time I make a good move you turn it down, so what do you want me to do?” His words were different from what I hear each time I remind Victor about babies, as he went on i couldn't hold myself, I started crying he was forced to drop the call and turned his attention to me, “madam are you alright? Being that the movie had not started I wonder what is making you cry, did I say or do anything wrong?” “No please, am so sorry don’t mind me, am sorry for listening to your phone conversation please, I was just having flashbacks of my life. I wish you both will make up and she will come to her senses and realize you truly care.” as i was talking he was busy stirring at me, in a surprising way.

“Nneka! Is it really you? Nneka Okpala*? Oh my! It’s like ages”, “please remind me am lost”, “it's me Dare, Dare Jones*! We attended UNN together, foreign languages, class of 2004.” ” You are kidding, my goodness you look so different, taller, bigger, how have u being?” “All good just for the conversation issue you overheard, my girl is making things hard for us but I think I have had it, I just can’t go down that road again. And I don’t have a listening ear to relate this to, because she's got everyone in her claws even my siblings. So tell me Nneka, I know we were never best of friends but what could be the problem, you were shading tears in public?” “It is a long story Dare” “ok, lets keep it short ok, I know you are having issues in your marriage, I might not have being your best friend then but you can count on me, we could be each other’s backbone, being that we are experiencing difficulties in our relationship. Do you care for dinner after the movie?” “How did u know I was married?” “Your beautiful stone “RING”.

That was how Nneka, the beautiful, sexy, obedient wife of Victor Obiechena* started an affair with a longtime schoolmate, was that fate or ...?

AFFAIRS… by the corner

Affairs here, affairs there why are more and more individuals especially married ones having affairs by the corner? Is someone unhappy? Is someone bewildered? Is someone bored? Or is it simply ecstasy?

In my world I think affairs are drugs with high addictions and are to be kept on security watch just like cocaine. The lies, sneaking around, the deceptions and all the dangers associated with it all add to the hunger for it. When a victim of this addiction, it is rare to see one pull out of it without being hurt, as weak and highly emotional as I am I don’t know if I‘ll ever stop an affair if I start one with a strong bond. I just wonder what may have happened and stirred up this shameful act.

Some individuals have become so addicted to their affairs, all day, every second all they think of is how they can sneak out, or how they will end the day with a huge lie. They fantasy only on how they are being spoiled with stuffs and the sex that is out of this world! Most of all they are being flattered that their partners in crime is the only listening ear they have and the only one that matters at that moment and makes them happy. When they are together in their wonderland like Alice they lose all track of time.

Let’s look around us and go through one or two stories of the endangerment of affairs, and also look into the healthy sides of this same word “AFFAIR”. Well am not saying it is good to have an affair by the corner, am simply saying they are areas attached to “affairs by the corner” that are healthy, take for instant a widow having an affair by the corner just say a months after his or her partner passes away. What do you think? Is that affair healthy or not? 

Let’s look at Tina* the heavenly girl, an orphan, yet responsible and hardworking; it took her 3yrs after school to get a job as a marketer in a bank. On that sunny day after she got in from being sexually harassed by a client, she went in straight to her boss’s office to report the incident only to be faced with another “I received a call from Mr. Lade* threatening to close his accounts, please for peace to rain, you go back and undo what you did because if he closes his accounts we all go down in this branch, have a good day miss Tina”.  She went home so unhappy and sad her uncle came back and asked her what the problem was, she explained what happened and yet received the worst answer, “who is a saint these days, you have got to shine your eyes and do better than others in other to survive." Tina left with regrets, what do you think will be her next move? Dance to the tune or stay being responsible Tina?

Sammy got a good job going with a consulting firm, and was expecting his 1^st promotion but was scared because his unit boss didn’t like him. On the other hand his overall boss in his branch a lady was so fun of him and sometimes tells him her sister was very much available and she will do all it takes to get him up there. Sammy innocently smiled at everything she said thereby taking it to be a joke. Then the deal came up; he was called by his unit boss one day and asked what he is always discussing with the boss? He said nothing serious just jokes, but she went ahead and gave him a query anyways. Who are you to argue with the boss? Then a colleague of his called him up that the overall boss needed to see him, on getting to her office he saw two pretty smiling faces. “I told you my sister was gorgeous didn’t I?” What next?

Beautiful Nneka, happily married with two kids was a staff with a well known telecom as a customer care officer, a figure so stunning like a goddess. The very first day she started work everyone wanted to be her friend, even the customers forget to close their mouths when they watch her move. In fact i will say most come with problems on purpose just to steal her time. As Nneka was coming to work on a bright morning, she meet her boss by the entrance door, he wouldn't stop smiling, "are you my staff?" "yes sir, good morning sir" little did she know that was the beginning of her troubles. From that day onward he will do everything possible to talk to her, call her into his office, send her on errands, invite her for lunch till he spelt out his intentions, she gladly told him she was married and flung her beautiful "RING" but the reply she got was heart breaking " are u the first to be? Am married, so is your unit boss and so many others or are u a kid? Who will be telling your husband about our little affair by the corner?" what do you think was Nneka's situation?

According to an article in Newsweek of July 2004 entitled “The New Infidelity” a survey on US couples showed that 40% married females were doing the by the corner dirty job on their spouses. There is also more and more confusion between men and women concerning their roles, so many women are seeing themselves through their husband’s eyes while some lazy sit at home men are hoping on their wives pockets, mostly forgetting the endangerments attached to such roles. Some reasons why married people cheat on their spouse are for excitement and adventure, companionship, romance, lust, one-night stands, revenge, escaping mundanity and… you fill in the blank space.

Affair are often level one addictions, any psychologist will tell you it's an escape from boredom and an inactive life but not all is caused by the thrill, it's a way of punishing a partner who is cheating many will say but my question still remains "THE RING"... does it really mean a thing?

NOTE: All names mentioned are not real